About, Terms and Conditions, and Privacy
This is the boilerplate stuff you find on all web sites. The kind of CYA text that you can use to put people to sleep. Or to torture them by making them stay awake to hear it. We're not even sure why we bother to make this page, to tell you the truth. But what the hay, all the cool kids do it, and we're as susceptible to peer pressure as the rest of you naked chimps.
Labyrinths & Liontaurs is a d20 role-playing game based primarily on Dungeons & Dragons Third Edition and Pathfinder First Edition. It is the product of the fevered brain of Cayzle, and you can reach out for more info through email at firstname.lastname@example.org and on the Twitter at @cayzle.
Terms and Conditions
Terms? Conditions? You are in the wrong place, bucko! We got another page that is just chock full of terms and conditions. We got your terms and conditions right here. Terms like Blindsense and Blindsight, Darkvision and Negative Levels. Conditions like dazed, dazzled, and dead.
Alright. Alright, already. Geez, can't take a joke? Okay, just to please you, we'll go look up some sample terms and conditions for grown-up web sites, and see what's worth adapting.
Holy mother of god, you want WHAT?! We took a look at this free template, and all we can say is, thank the gods we rolled high on our sanity check! Lordie! Kiddies, don't click on that link! You're better off checking out the boobies! (That's an in joke that only people who read this page in reverse order from bottom to top will get.) (George, you got it, right?)
Official L&L Terms and Conditions
No, there's no legally binding agreement here. You do not agree that you have read these terms and conditions, much less that you understand or agree to them. Heck, we don't understand or agree to them ourselves! We're not alerting you to any changes either, since we have no idea who you are, have no way to communicate with you, and do not expect you to care. You do not waive any rights that you may have. Feel free to wave your rights, though; it's hot in here and we would like a breeze.
You have no responsibility to do anything. We're not responsible either, so that's fair. If you break the law using the info on this site, though we cannot imagine how you could possibly do so, well, that's on you, not us, we mean, come on.
Intellectual property rights. We guess this part might have some meat on it, so we'll put on our serious mask for a sec. Well, okay, some stuff on this site is clearly marked Open Game License, including every page of Liontaurs & Labyrinths. Take a look in the web page footer for a link to the OGL. We have some free downloadable PDF splat books that are also covered by the OGL, as noted in the backs of those books. Everything else here on this site is released under a Creative Commons License. Here's what those good CC folks told us to say:
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.
Okay, that's enough of terms and conditions. We're bored. Moving on ...
Other sites say they care about your privacy. Then years later you find out they had a data breach, and your credit card is now out there on some Russian server farm. Good thing you maxed that baby out long ago. Let the debt collector jerks harass the Russkies for a change. Good luck finding the right dacha, capitalist swine!
Let's be honest -- here at Cayzle's Wemic Site we don't actually care at all about your privacy. That's because we do not actually collect your personal info. The most we do is put a snippet of Google Analytics code on each page so we can figure out how many pageviews we've gotten this month (spoiler: five, not counting George).
Information We Collect From You
CAVEAT: This site is run on Yahoo Small Business, ever since they bought out Geocities and killed the thriving '90s Internet culture of animated "under construction" gifs and red text on black backgrounds. So the point is, who knows what Yahoo is doing with the fact that you are on our site? We sure don't know. Is Yahoo looking over your shoulder? Come on, Yahoo? Really? Microsoft, Facebook, or the NSA — okay, we'd buy that for a dollar. But Yahoo? If that risk actually bothers you, we've got a subterranean bunker and a year's worth of MREs for you at a discount rate. Nowadays we have migrated to Hostinger, and someday soon we'll migrate to the server in my nephew's basement. Don't worry, he's trustworthy. I know 'cause he told me so.
Children Under the Age of 16
Since we know nothing about you, how the heck are we supposed to know if you are under 16? But by gosh, golly, and gee willikers, we don't want to get in trouble, mister. So, officially, if you are a user of this site and you are under 16, before you can browse this site you have to get your parent or guardian to email Cayzle at email@example.com so we know it is okay for you to see the very rare images of liontaur boobies that you might catch a glimpse of when you are clicking around. Oh, and we did a few screeds on Sex in D&D back 15 years or so ago. Don't look at those, kiddies. Do NOT go to the home page and search for "sex" in your browser window. Don't do that! Stop! I'm telling mom!
How We Use and Share Your Personal Information
We don't. Unless you wrote in our guest book years ago when we had one, in which case we use and share your info by displaying it in the online guestbook archive (yes it is still there). Or unless you emailed us or tweeted at us or otherwise communicated with us and we mentioned you somewhere because of that. Otherwise, no personal info.
Okay, do let's end with one last condition for using this site: Be excellent to each other.